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There is so much information out there about pregnancy, birth and even baby care yet other than a few brief lists of what to stock up on, little is said about the 4th trimester. Let's face it, for the most part our culture does not really acknowledge it, women are released after giving birth in 24-48 hours and then often back to work in as little as one week later in some cases. What if I told you this is not the norm for the rest of the world? In many Asian countries, women spend at least a month completely off after birth doing nothing but resting and recovering, some even check into recovery facilities where they spend their days eating specially prepared meals, doing yoga, receiving massages and bonding with their babies. Latin america has similar practices where women spend at least a month resting and being cared for by family members. Even in Europe hospital stays are often longer, support is readily available and extended to new mothers. Perhaps this is why upwards of 80% of new mothers in the United States experience some form of postpartum depression. This coupled with high mother and infant mortality rates strongly signals that our maternity care model and culture needs a strong overhaul. In the meantime there are things that you can do to make sure you have the support you need during your fourth trimester.
1. Take your full leave
I get it, this is expensive, you are most likely going to go twelve weeks without pay but it is not impossible with some planning, and if you must go back sooner try to get a part-time or flextime situation in place for the first few months. Society expects us to be Superwomen, but giving birth is a huge physical and psychological change and you need time to adjust!
2. Hire a Postpartum Doula
Doula's are amazing all around, but a postpartum doula can be especially helpful during those first weeks. There are often different packages available so you should be able to find something that will work for you and your budget.
3. Consider a Meal Service
I am a big fan of doing a pre-baby cook off to stock your freezer for your leave period, but if you do not have the desire or time to do this a meal service can be a lifesaver!
4. Make sure you get the care you need
Whether it is chiropractic care, physical therapy for postpartum issues, weekly massages or therapy sessions, make sure that you are taking care of you, as the saying goes you cannot pour from an empty cup!
5. Take the offers of help
Now is not the time to be proud or stubborn, those that care about you truly do want to help you so make sure you are communicating your needs, especially with your partner and not waiting for them to read your mind.
Be gentle with yourself, this is a period of transition, your body and mind have changed so take care of yourself!
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